There are three types of listening—which one do you use most?

🔴 Surface Listening (hearing words, but missing the intent)

🟠 Active Listening (paraphrasing & responding to what’s being said)

Most executives stop at active listening—nodding, paraphrasing, summarizing. But they need something more that goes deeper: it uncovers what’s unsaid.

🟢 Strategic Listening (detecting unspoken concerns, assumptions, fears)

1. Surface Listening 🔴
The listener hears the client’s words but is distracted and focused on their thoughts. They often plan their response or next pitch instead of being fully present.

What’s Happening in Their Mind:

1. “How do I respond to this quickly?”
2. “I’ve seen this problem before — I know what they need.”
3. “Let me wait for my turn to speak.”
4. “I hope I sound smart when I respond.”

Common Traits:

1. Self-Focused: Prioritizes their own agenda over the client’s actual needs.
2. Distracted Attention: Easily pulled away by internal thoughts or external noise.
3. Missed Nuances: Overlooks tone, pauses, or emotions — leading to misinterpretation.

Result: The listener reacts to the obvious problem, but misses the real issue beneath. Trust isn’t built, and opportunities slip away.
Example: During a client meeting, a salesperson listens to the client’s requirements but is preoccupied with closing the deal, leading to a lack of genuine understanding of the client’s unique challenges.​

2. Active Listening  🟠
The listener is fully engaged, nodding, paraphrasing, and asking questions. They genuinely try to understand, but still work within the visible layer of the conversation.

What’s Happening in Their Mind:

1. “Let me show them I’m paying attention.”
2. “I’ll rephrase what they said to confirm understanding.”
3. “I should ask a follow-up to keep them talking.”
4. “This is going well — we’re having a good conversation.”

Common Traits:

1. Engaged Interaction: Uses phrases like “I hear you” or “Let me repeat that back.”
2. Empathetic Responses: Acknowledges feelings and concerns to build rapport.
3. Clarifying Questions: Encourages deeper discussion — but still only about what’s already been said.

Result: The conversation feels warm and collaborative — but the listener still misses what’s unspoken or emerging. They’re responding to the words, not the full reality.

Example: In a networking event, a professional attentively listens to a potential client’s challenges, paraphrases their concerns to ensure accurate understanding, and asks insightful questions, leading to a meaningful connection.​

3. Strategic Listening 🟢
Strategic Listening Is a Mental Discipline: It’s about training your brain to pause, minimize filters, assume less, and dig deeper silently — before you react.

What a Strategic Listener will not do:

1. React to the first thing they hear
2. Jump in to explain or clarify.
3. Assume the client is always saying what they mean
4. Filtering spoken words through their own pressures or pitch

What a Strategic Listener will do:

1. Holding the moment in silence
2. Zooming out — asking “Why are they saying this now?” 
3. Listening for tone, timing, emotional signals, and choice of words
   • “Is there pressure from someone else on their side?”
   • “Could this be a cover for discomfort, fear, or doubt?”
4. Holding space to investigate the gap between what’s said and what’s meant”
   • “What’s not being said right now?”
   • “What does this specific word mean to them?”

Example: During a cold call, a sales representative notices hesitation in the client’s voice. By addressing potential concerns about product implementation, the representative alleviates fears, leading to a successful engagement.​